


Amazing News from RETH!

by ba_lailah



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, Humor, Zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-22 14:55:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21303932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ba_lailah/pseuds/ba_lailah
Summary: Dear RETH members and friends,As the director of the biological research arm of Revenants for the Ethical Treatment of Humans, it is my great pleasure to share with you some very exciting new research that has just been published in theNew England Journal of Medicineby RETH fellows Dr. Alizia Acosta and Dr. Lee Jong-Woo at Georgia State University.
Comments: 8
Kudos: 16
Collections: Trick or Treat Exchange 2019





	Amazing News from RETH!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Kisuru](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kisuru/gifts).

Dear RETH members and friends,

As the director of the biological research arm of Revenants for the Ethical Treatment of Humans, it is my great pleasure to share with you some very exciting new research that has just been published in the _New England Journal of Medicine_ by RETH fellows Dr. Alizia Acosta and Dr. Lee Jong-Woo at Georgia State University.

We founded RETH in 2041 when it became clear that people resurrected by the Rainir-Kirke virus could only survive by eating the neural matter of sentient entities, a biological truth that we found morally abhorrent. Thanks to your generous donations, we've poured millions of dollars into researching and developing ethical, sustainable alternatives. One of those efforts has now—as it were—borne fruit. 

It's long been understood that plants and fungi form symbiotic mycorrhizal networks, sharing nutrients as well as information using infochemicals. One such infochemical is zomulone, which is produced by the common graveyard nettle. In its natural form, zomulone acts almost as a meta-infochemical, greatly enhancing the quantity of information transfer that can happen in the mycorrhizal networks formed by the nettle and its fungal symbiote, the ghost mushroom or will-o'-wisp mushroom. Three years ago, the FDA approved zomulone as a treatment for early-onset dementia and other conditions in which brain function is impaired. Now, Dr. Acosta and Dr. Lee have demonstrated that high (human-toxic) doses of zomulone can be used as a dietary supplement for RKV+ revenants. I'll cut right to the most exciting part of their findings: Regular doses of zomulone could reduce consumption of organic neural matter by _as much as 90%_. 

There's still so much work to be done: understanding the mechanism by which zomulone interacts with RKV, getting approval for zomulone as an RKV treatment covered by health insurance, figuring out how to farm or even synthesize it (currently, producing one 100 ml dose of zomulone requires the harvesting of nearly three acres of graveyard nettles and ghost mushrooms, which are only native to the southeastern U.S.), and making sure revenants and their doctors know about this major development. And sadly, every step of the way, the gore-handed farmers and butchers of Big Brain are going to try to stop us. **At this crucial time, your donation matters more than ever.** Right now, click the donation button and help RETH liberate the RKV+ population from neural matter dependence.

[Donate now!]

This breakthrough takes us one step closer to a vegan revenant future. I'm so glad you're with us as we forge ahead.

Yours in solidarity,  
Barbara Raines  
RETH co-founder


End file.
